WHAT DID YOU TEACH YOURSELF?

In Jewels’ last 2 editions, we asked and tried to discuss the subjects ‘What Did Your Father Teach You and What Did Your Mother Teach You?’  We tried to establish that men as fathers are responsible for providing psychological support to their children; raise them to be proud of who they are so they can be esteemed individuals and more. Mothers, we said to a great extent determine what the individuals character is, what he is known for due to the role mothers are supposed to play in imbibing conduct in their children so they can be seen as good children for the fathers as the old Nigerian proverbs says ‘When a child is good, he/she is the father’s child but when a child is bad, he/she is the mother’s child’. 

You will notice from the preceding notes above that the totality of what an individual becomes in live does not depend explicitly on who an individual’s father or mother is, where he/she was born, where he schooled etc. To the greatest extent, one can say that the individual is a major determinant of what he becomes and this is the reason for the subject Jewels chooses to share in this edition ‘What Did You Teach Yourself?’

Out there are several philosophies tagged under some heading like ‘Agents of Socialisation, Man and Society etc’ mostly dealing with the subject of how various agents (family, school, friends, background, society in general) can influence man to become a particular kind of man or woman in life. Most of those philosophies posit that society influences man and a few propose that man influences society or can influence his society. I am hoping that the Story of Thomas may be able to provide the kind of dimension Jewels hopes we adopt from today.

Thomas was born into the family of the Okoli’s in the late 70’s. Growing up amongst his pairs, he was an object of admiration and sometimes envy because his family was regarded highly by members of the community due to the high moral, disciplined life they led. Thomas growing up, did not let this family portrait they were known for diminish which made him more admirable not just among his peers but almost at every setting he found himself. Known for his choice for excellence, high morals, hard work, talents and lots of good virtues you may be thinking about, Thomas advanced through various stages of life quickly and in no time was almost ready to begin life as an adult himself.

Set for adult life having progressed so far in life evidenced by very good education, a fantastic job with several benefits, Thomas went to his father one day and declared his readiness to become a husband and a father like the one who raised him; Mr. Anthony Okoli. With a grateful grin on his face, Mr. Anthony thanked God for his son and said ‘Tom, I really have nothing to say to you regarding your intentions more because I am proud of what you have become, you did not let me down. However, I have to say this and hope you heed my words as you have always done. Anything wrong you have never done in life, please do not start because if you do, you may not be able to stop them and there is a consequence for every action. My piece of advice is to encourage you to always improve the person you are so that you can be better and this can only happen if you continually keep in mind all we taught you raising you and above all uphold fear for GOD. I know you have very good judgement so I would say, everything right you saw me do in marriage, please do and anything wrong you ever saw me do in marriage, please do not do. A man becomes anything he chooses to become. Tom, you have my blessings!’

Few months after the meeting with his father, Tom was married to Andi, the lady he fell in love with during his post graduate study days at Cambridge. Of course, life was sweet you can guess; both couples were successful and they enjoyed their times greatly and more because in no time they were blessed with a lovely son. Soon like every other marriages I guess, conflicts caused by several reasons (I permit you to think about them) began to creep into their lovely home and Thomas began to respond by battering his wife, having extra marital affairs which led to having kids out of wedlock, drinking and smoking all done to sometimes keep him sane. Mr. Anthony and his wife knowing of these reports wondered what had happened to Tom, they tried to think about anything they had done wrong; he had never seen his parents fight, he had always been calm, intelligent, a strong feminist, disciplined and Andi was a wonderful person. The more he tried to contemplate the reasons for Thomas’s action as several reports were brought before him, the more confused he became; everything seemed like an enigma. He usually would say to his wife, in-laws ‘THIS WAS NOT HOW WE RAISED TOM’

I could relate to the story of Thomas when it was told and I am certain that many of us can relate to it as well.  Most of what we become are not solely dependent on what our parents have taught us but on what we teach ourselves and thus choose to become. I agree that the story could have been one where Thomas may have found himself in an environment filled with so much violence and hate but this does not make an excuse for anything evil we become otherwise the laws and society would stand strong for them. Despite what we see in practice today; more of an EVIL world, I have not heard of a law that supports the wrongs we do. I have also not seen any law that holds a parent responsible for the actions of an adult. The beauty of living is the opportunity it provides through several agents society has put in place; Church, Mosque, Friends, Hospitals, Schools, Mentors and more. In every wrong done, it is said that a right can be preached and we have been built to know what is right and wrong. Jewels in this edition tasks You and I to remember always that We are the architect of our fate, we choose to become what we want to become and hence forth can determine what ‘WE TEACH OURSELVES’. I would like to put this perspective in every context by reminding us of the words I paraphrased tweeted by Pastor Dexter ‘Steve Jobs was an orphan, raised by adopted parents, dropped out of school yet he changed our world, What excuse do you have to give by whatever you are?’

There is remedy for every situation as you will read soon when I continue the story of Thomas in the next edition of Jewels – ‘What Did You Learn?’

From Me; Chuka Chiezie and the team at Jewel Publishers we wish you a great weekend. Contact us (08033615992, jewelswriting@gmail.com) for your graphics design and Printing services and please do not forget to tell others about Jewel Publishers. More Grace!

WHAT DID YOUR FATHER TEACH YOU?

Like previous years, we celebrated Father's day in June 2015. This memorable day marked by churches, mosques, entertainment centres, businesses, social media platforms and more was considered special for Fathers all over the world. I suppose, to tell them how important their roles are in our world. Thinking about the 21st day of June when this day was celebrated in Nigeria, I remembered feeling so grateful to be a father and also remembered my Dad and other great men that have impacted my life, some late and some living and felt really happy that the world did not fail to recognise the contributions of men who have attained this status in our society.

Many like me basked in the excitement of the day following the special prayers, messages, events that graced the day but I had cause to think about a lot of things that inspired this text I am sharing with you via this medium. I was wondering if fathers in Nigeria celebrated for the same reasons like Fathers in other countries of the world.  While contemplating the reason why fathers in Nigeria had course to celebrate, I decided to ask some men around me why they felt they should be celebrated on this day and these were the responses I got: 'I thank God that I am able to take care of my family and provide them with everything that they need not every father does that you know', another goes 'I do not have kids at the moment but not many fathers or even men at my age are married, so I am glad I am being celebrated for being responsible' and another goes 'well since there is mother's day, there ought to be father's day. If married women with children are celebrated for attaining that status, we too as men should be accorded the same right as well' and the responses went on and on for a while, some were very funny and some caused those of us gathered to contemplate until Mr. Simon one quiet man I had watched asked me 'You, Chuka tell us why you asked the question? ' 'Well' I began 'I am not sure w

e are celebrating for the same reasons that many men in other parts of the world are celebrating. I said this because, I know that every man that has a family here has a small country which means that our families have to be seen like a small Nigeria and we all ought to take care of Nigeria the way we take care of our families. Men in other parts of the world especially in developed countries may have cause to celebrate because they have done a lot of things that are ideal in their society ensuring that their societies survive and that almost everyone benefits from the stability that they have provided in their economies. I am not sure we can say the same of Nigeria. I am strongly compelled to ask our leaders and everyone who has toyed with and ravaged Nigeria "WHAT DID YOUR FATHERS TEACH YOU?" History taught us what the likes of Herbert Macaulay, Dr. Nnamdi Azikiwe, Sir Ahmadu Bello, Sir Abubabakar Tafabalewa, Chief Obafemi Awolowo, Odimegwu Ojukwu et al stood for. Those were some of the fathers who fought for Nigeria and for the rights of their people not because they wanted to amass wealth for themselves but because they wanted Nigeria to be the best country in the world. I have sometimes wondered if the fathers we have today especially the ones we see in our leaders were handed the virtues these men possessed or if they were raised by people they could never call fathers resulting in the kind of Nigerian nation that we have today; a nation where people clamour to rule not because they have got objectives that would benefit the masses but because they want to loot the nations treasury for themselves and their kins, a nation where poverty is gradually becoming our definition, a nation now listed among first options whenever vices are mentioned and more. These thoughts caused my questions Mr. Simon. I am not sure if many fathers worry like I do about what the generations that will come after us will become if we do not go back to those good old generations when our fathers stood for what was right not because they were easy virtues but because they knew that if we can build the nation, then we can build the people and live better with and for ourselves'.

Raising Men

The concern shared through this medium Jewel Publishers provides should be the concern of every well meaning Nigerian in the world especially those of us who reside in Nigeria. Fathers must return to the drawing board and provide the right mission statement that would take us back to our days of Glory irrespective of what our Fathers taught us. We must ensure that we do not educate our children because we want them to be thieves or corrupt people using the smart things they have learnt to rub our nation, No! We must educate them to understand that when education prepares you for life, it prepares you to live life that would first honour our creator; God and also benefit the people who live around us. Our greatest wish is that the new leadership of this country would stir the boat towards this mission so that many can follow.

In July, the team at Jewel Publishers encourages all of us to live with this awareness so that Nigeria can be better again. Selah! I wish you an attainment of those expectations you have for the month of July 2015. More Grace.

Remember to tell others about Jewel Publishers, the one stop place for Graphics Designs, Prints and Publishing.

Ebenezer

Ebenezer

At the sound of a very loud bang, I jolted up from my bed and almost ran from the room thinking the house would collapse on me only to realise it was just heavy raindrops followed by occasional strong thunderstorms. Alone in my room as always, having grown restless from the storm that plagued my now timid heart, I was lost in thought; my mind wondered through many questions indicating strongly how lonely my world had become since my Ex, my friend whom I fondly call Princess bade me good bye because I did not want to show clear signs of commitments that the relationship we share was heading to any permanent stead. I could not say at the moment if I was happy or sad about the present single state of my life, maybe I can testify to some mixed feelings anyways but one thing was clear, I missed my girl who was engaged now to be married to some dude that was ready for the big commitment.

Realising how deep I was drifting in thought about my life with Princess, I jolted up from the sofa where I laid and went to get myself a cup of coffee just to create some distractions that would stop me from getting into those sad moments that sometimes make me say 'Had I KNOWN’. Relaxing now with a cup of coffee, I decided to play one of the favourite songs 'It's US AGAINST THE WORLD by West Life' I shared with princess during those sweet old days. Consumed by the wordings, I decided to send a message to Princess about the memories that came flashing through my mind, something I hoped she would see the moment she got up at her usual 6:30am every morning. Only a 'Hello' dropped from me to her and I immediately got a 'Hi' response that killed the flow I had planned out. Shocked that she was awake at 3am, I quickly asked 'Princess, why are you not sleeping? It’s very late you know' 'Just like you Henry, why you not sleeping yourself?' she replied. Smiling now I had to admit, 'I was thinking about you and US against the world. You know Princess; I should never have let you go.  I thought I could live up to it by being sincere that you are/were too good to be mine. You had it all, Beautiful, Educated, Intelligent, Attractive, Homely and above all God fearing. Look at me, what did I have to measure up, maybe just a daytime job and a self contained apartment and maybe myself. I was not ready but you know what I should have let you help me be better. Well it's all gone now baby, so I just thought I would tell you again that I do miss you but wish you the best'. 'Henry' she began 'I am up because you showed up in my sleep and took sleep away from my eyes completely. I miss you more and I am awake this moment because you are the only thing that has been in my thoughts for so long and I am completely at loss about what to do. I feel I am in the wrong place. Dare does not treat me like you ever did. I knew you were not ready to be married but I knew you loved me. All you needed to do was ask me to wait or you wait or we just talk about it and agree. Now we are faced with all sorts of monsters because we left ‘US’ and have to fight this world individually. 2 months from now, I will be Mrs. Dare, maybe unhappy or happy but it's in God's hands now, I hope for the best'.  Alitea mixed with my coffee tasted really sour in my mouth now as I read these words from Princess but I was optimistic that things will turn out right for the both of us in the end and I had to tell her. 'Princess, the most sad moments of my life were when you agreed to walk away from me when I insisted that I could not measure up to the wonders I saw all around you. I wallowed in a state of great confusion for over 6 months you were gone from my life, Nothing I loved made sense anymore, music, movies, books and all those things you knew, my jobs did not; I even got fired eventually. I cannot tell you everything I went through because I inflicted those pains on myself. Until this moment, I still think I did not make the right decision letting you go because I have found no one else like you to be with. I know you wonder how I now cope so well from what you hear about me from some of our friends. Well my dear Princess, God helped me. One day, our old time friend Gabriel called me and asked if he could spend 3 nights in my place because he had a conference to attend in Abuja and I obliged. On arrival, he saw my pitied state and kept probing why things had gone that bad but I was so ashamed to narrate the story of our love. I am sure he got tired of asking but before leaving for his home in Makurdi, he asked me to read 1st Samuel and a couple of other verses he listed and left me his Bible. Few weeks after he left, idle me decided to see what was hidden in those pages he referred me to and I kept reading until I got to 1st Samuel 7 and was struck particularly by verse 10 and 12; how God helped the Israelites who in turn referred to him as their helper. From that moment, knowing that no one will make up for the absence of someone I Love so dearly, I decided to ask the Lord to help me and He did in the most amazing way I cannot fathom. All I call him now even though he has become everything to me is EBENEZER. Princess, the man, you are currently about to marry will never bring you the kind of Joy you expect, to compare him to what we shared would drive you further down into frustration. Quitting now maybe the only option you have but it may not guarantee that happiness you seek but like me maybe you can turn to my Ebenezer the one I am certain still has some help pills in store if you ask him. There is no guarantee that the help he will offer could mean giving you courage to go on with the wedding, it may also not mean giving you the serenity to bear the things that seem quite difficult for you, it may also mean returning you to me, Hahahaha but I know the help He brings will surely bring you peace that surpasses your understanding. Princess, for me, it is a normal thing for me to be awake at this time, I hope the words we have shared will help you try to catch some sleep in peace now. Love you!’

 I tried to guess what Princess would be doing after reading the message I shared with her because I got no response after all I wrote. Maybe she was sobbing or a bit sad like me but anyways I was certain that Ebenezer who works in ways we cannot understand will go about his work for her, for me who is a work in progress and anyone who gives him a chance to go about is good works. 

GOD REALLY ANSWERS PRAYERS!!!

Blessing : my dear friend God really answers prayers oh! hmmmmm.

Sarah :     Are you just finding out, I have told you several times but because you never take me seriously, you always think I'm joking.

Blessing: My dear, will you blame me? you know how long I stayed without a Job, and all the disappointments from people  I really relied on, including you sometimes. What else could i do but  feel bad and behave the way I did during those terrible times.

Sarah: My dear Sister, I am so glad you feel differently now, but I am happier that God is not man because he did something you've always wanted, and that's why you can now say God really     answers prayers. lol!

Blessing: Shuuuuu see beef, Sarah, are you jealous that God answered my prayers?

Sarah: Not at all o! I am happy oh! I just passed a comment, thats all.

Blessing: Well my Joy is complete and that is all that matters now; whether it took a miracle or anything to                    make me say God really answers prayers, I just needed proof because year in, year out for                               almost 5 years, I kept asking him for a good Job. Life looked gray, at the thought of any good job                        coming my way . So I thought I could even use what I had as a woman to get

                 what I wanted and survive in this country, but things became worse; all the men I met,both young                  and old, took advantage of me and made me feel worthless. I turned to God and kept asking. I                          asked, and I asked, and guess what Blessing, I have never been happier; the way things turned                        around for me, if I tell you, you would become more jealous the way I am looking at your eyes :                      ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! ha! But anyway you have come to my office now, and have seen how things are                  and how Andrew is killing himself over our  wedding; like he can't wait for me to get into his                            house and many other things. Anyway, I don't want to waste your time and I even need to get                          ready for bible study. Take good care of yourself, and don’t forget to tell someone else like you                      told me that God really answers prayers. He really does. Bye dear.

Listening to those ladies at the ice cream place felt funny; maybe it had something to do with the way Blessing carried on about how good God has been to her or maybe it was the way I saw them discuss that was interesting I am not sure which, but their conversation reminded me about the many times I have felt happier than Blessing because the requests I prayed about were answered wholly. I tried to imagine those beautiful times, to appreciate how Blessing felt. But what dawned more on me was the look on many faces of people who had met me or someone I knew and said, 'I am giving up!' it does not look like this tough phase of my life will ever end.  Chuka, maybe I need to accept that this is what God has brought my way and just keep moving with the tide.  I remembered that during such moments, because I could not feel exactly what those friends or persons felt, I had not much to say until the day I listened to the conversation between Blessing and Sarah but especially the instruction Blessing left for Sarah 'Don’t Forget to tell someone else like you told me that GOD REALLY ANSWERS PRAYERS'.

I knew immediately where I had failed in my responsibility to those individuals. I should have told them even in those times that God really answers prayers.  I feel better now because, I have learned through Blessing and Sarah. I just would like to let you know that you are next in line for a miracle and GOD REALLY ANSWERS PRAYERS!

Dumelo

My name is Dumelo,  I am 48 years old, and I have a wonderful son. Now when I think about him, my heart is filled with sheer pain, regret, and utter agony, and if I just had one wish, it would be to turn back the hands of time, to make things right, to do things correctly, to be a good and loving father, to be part of his life, to hold him, teach him to ride a bicycle, how to play football, and to put a smile on his face every blessed day. I’d give anything to have that wish come true but Sometimes, you never know what you have until its too late.

I had love, but I threw it away. I didn’t know its value, I didn’t know its worth. Right now I sit here with sorrow, great depression, anger, dejection, frustration, lonliness, heartache, and regret as my only companions, fear is my master, and torture is the whip he uses to flog me.

Since I cannot have my wish, and turn back the hands of time, I can only sound a warning to other fathers who are threading the same path I did.

Life is too short to waste it on the things that don’t count, while destroying the things that do. Let me tell you my story, maybe I can save a little child, or another father from destruction.

Twelve years ago, I met a beautiful lady, her name was Joy. She was so full of joy and love, nothing you could ever do would make her sad. I watched her everyday as she came to the restaurant I always ate during my lunch break. Joy was gracious, she radiated from the inside, she shone with a beauty I couldn’t describe. She was well mannered, and beautifully built, she was a work of art, a rare gem.  I knew because, I had met all kinds of women, and by God, this one was heavenly. She wasn’t just beautiful on the outside, she was beautiful on the inside too. Apart from her beauty, I think it was her innocence that really endeared me to her.  One day I summoned courage, walked up to her table, I smiled, she smiled, I talked, she talked and 6Months later, we were married.

A year after our wedding, Joy took in, and gave birth to a bouncing baby boy. He was my spitting image, and I was very proud of myself. But slowly things began to change, the love Joy and I shared, began to die. I couldn’t stand her anymore, Joy did everything she could to try and salvage the remains of a shattered marriage, but my mind was made up, one morning I moved out. I knew it killed Joy because she became a shadow of herself, I had sucked out all the joy and beauty that was in her. She struggled to survive because she didn’t have a job, I had ordered her to stop working when we found out she was pregnant. She moved into a much smaller apartment and became a pure water producer, and she had a tiny kiosk where she managed to sell small stuff.

Friends would chide me for not accepting responsibility for my son, but I couldn’t, well, the truth is, I didn’t want to. I felt if I provided for my son, then I would be indirectly providing for Joy. So like the fool that I was, I turned a blind eye and a deaf ear to the disapproval of my friends.

Years passed and I didn’t give a hoot, I didn’t care less if my son lived or died. I lived my life on the fast lane, showering money to all kinds of women, keeping late nights, and getting drunk almost all the time. Until that faithful night, when the accident occurred. My car was bashed beyond recognition, I saw people gathering around, some shouting with their hands on their heads, and some crying, I kept shouting, im over here! Unscathed!, nothing happened to me!, im fine! Why wont they just hear me? I kept asking myself, until a little girl ran through me. I screamed! And at that point, I realized I was dead. Fear took over me,  I felt a great chill down my spine as a great angel came to take me. Suddenly, my whole life flashed in front of me. This huge angel showed me different areas of my life, people I had hurt, things I had done, right and wrong. Then he showed me something I would live with for the rest of my undead life; this angel opened my eyes and I saw my son and his mother on their knees praying for me, asking God to forgive me and protect me.  Hot tears began to drop from my eyes, and just then I realized that I had treated them very unfairly.  Regardless of my wickedness towards them, they still were able to pray for me with a heart full of love. The angel told me that for 12years they had done that, and God reached me so many times but I refused to change and do right by them. We walked until we reached a dark smelly ally, that was when a big ugly thing came to get me. I screamed and begged the angel to save me, but he could do nothing and suddenly vanished.

To say its been sheer horror ever since, is an understatement.  I take comfort in one thing the angel said; “God is a father to the fateherless, and He will take care of your son”.  Fathers who still have a chance  to do right, please make amends, find time and spend it with your kids, love them, protect them and most especially take care of them.

By Angaye Bibi - Jewel Publishers 

Celebrating Fathers!!!

He was recruited to join a team that would carry out interviews for a Father's day Magazine. During the course of the interviews, he met a lady with a quiet countenance sitting by the pool side in Chelsea Hotel with ear phones tucked into her ears and an ipad in hand. Waving his hand to get her attention he said; hi! I'm Charles from AY's magazine, I would like to ask a few questions if you don’t mind my interrupting anything that you are presently doing 'please go ahead Charles' she responded. I have just one question ma'am; If you could have one wish from your Father on Fathers day, what would it be?We are trying to compile a wish list for Dads to fulfill so they know exactly what their children want from them. Smiling wryly she lifted her face and said to Charles;I will give you more answers than you have asked for. My name is Michelle a very rich and beautiful young lady from Adamawa state, capable of doing things so good they will transform your life for the better. I will do anything you ask of me materially, if you can get my dad to grant me this one wish;Tell daddy to come back to life so I can have him forever, so i can tell him everyday how much I love him. Grave silence immediately fell at the pool side,  Michelle  began to cry and the tears just wouldnt stop because, the question Charles had asked her brought back memories of a father who loved her so much and spared nothing to make her life worthwhile but in return got nothing he deserved.

She said;Charles I did not treat my Father well, I did the opposite of everything he asked me to because I knew he loved me and would not lift a finger to hurt me. I always knew he was blessed because many others called him father and you know what they say; 'Blessed indeed is the man who hears many gentle voices call him father.” One day I hurt him so bad and that day I lost him but guess his final words to me? He said; "To be the father of a growing daughter like you is to understand something I could call 'terrible beauty'. Nothing I have done has ever made me so happy or so frightened but I learned a solid lesson which is the limitations of self and I realized that your heart is running around inside someone else's body. This is what makes me astonishingly calm even at the thought of death: I know whom I would die to protect and I also understand that nobody but a sad serf can possibly wish for a father who never goes away. I love you always Michelle, my heart beats in you".

Please Charles she said, tell my story and tell everyone that Fathers are special and are worth celebrating. Wish everyone who has got a father a happy father's day for me.

17th June, the world celebrates Fathers, individuals called by many names; Papa, Kuku, Daddy, Grandpa, Baba, Nnaanyi and many more. So many fathers live, and some have passed on to another life but, they are worth celebrating for the contributions they have made in our lives. Umberto Eco, Foucaults's Pendulum once said "I believe that what we become depends on what our fathers teach us at odd moments, when they aren't trying to teach us, we become formed by little scraps of their wisdom.”

Happy Father's day to every Father, You are worth celebrating and are greatly appreciated. 

Chuka Chiezie 

Anna....

Anna

Anna’s mother thought been married to Ebe was the best thing ever that would have happened to her. Nothing made the most sense like the day she stood before the alter to say ‘I do’ to the most handsome, adorable man to her in the universe. The first year of their marriage was filled with so much bliss and Helen felt so joyful and thankful to God for giving her Ebe.

As time passed, the couple was blessed with a beautiful baby ‘Anna’ and this brought so much Joy the family.

When Anna was 2 years old in pre-nursery school, she was involved in an accident that caused her to be admitted for about 3 months in the hospital. During these times, a great gap grew between Helen and Ebe; times were tough for the family due to the expensive hospital bills the couple had to pay to ensure anna did not have any complications with her brain from the fall on the staircase. By the time, Anna was discharged from the hospital and certified ok, Ebe’s business was almost wrecked, and Helen had lost her job because she had to be with Anna most times at the hospital. Things were tough for the family and this affected the pristine relationship that existed between the couple; they would argue over food, over bills and call themselves foul names. When Ebe found he could not bear the marital challenges anymore, he took few belongings of his and left the house, never to return. Helen was heartbroken and did not know how she could cope with her life without Ebe been around. He meant the world to her; life was meaningful because he was on her side.

For years, Helen cried and moved around very sad. She blamed Anna for the circumstance she found herself and did not hesitate to show her only daughter how much she pain she suffered. Anna did not get a chance to be educated or even mingle with other kids as she grew up. All she knew was life with a mother who showed her how much she regretted having her. Anna cried most times but soon got used to the life she was exposed to. She saw the world as a place of war where bitterness ordered life.

When Anna was 20 years of age, she got into an argument with her mother over the bad treatment she had received all her life. This degenerated into a physical fight between mother and daughter and Anna was asked to leave the house and never come back. According to Anna, her mum said ‘You stupid child, that has brought me nothing but pain since I gave birth to you, take your cursed, useless self and leave my house. I never want to see you again. You came into my life to rub me of my Joy and you think you can live like that with me for the rest of your life? You must be a Joker Anna. You are from the pit of hell and I want you out right now so you can go to hell and burn. I don’t ever want to see you again forever’  

That night, Anna wept uncontrollably, she thought of the possible reasons why her mother hated her so much but could find none. Since she had no place to go, she remained at the community square weeping and did not realize when she slept off. Early the next morning, Justin the manager in charge of the square, came for his usual inspection and found Anna there. Recognising her as someone he sees in the neighbourhood, he woke her up and said ‘Aren’t you Anna? What are you doing here?’ Anna could say nothing but cry. Consoling her, he invited her to take a shower in his house and then have breakfast, an invitation Anna agreed to.

When she was refreshed, worried Justin tried to find out why Anna slept in the square but she would say nothing to him. ‘You can stay here for as long as you want Anna until you are ready to go back home since you do not want tell me what is wrong’ Justin said.

One month in Justin’s house, Anna still carried on in grave silence. She found all kind gestures from Justin really Alien until he said to her one afternoon after Lunch ‘Anna, I have lived here  in my house with you for one month, knowing nothing but your first name and nothing else. I have trie d to probe into your life to find out what issues you have, what needs you may require that I meet for you, what your plan for life is and you have said nothing to me. I am not going to ask you ever to leave my house or push you to say something you don’t want to say but I’d just like to let you know that my life is different with you and I Love You and I am willing to help you go through whatever difficulty you may have been through because I know God cares so much about you, so I should care’

Some light came into Anna’s life because the words Justin spoke to her were delightful to her ears. Occasionally, he reminded Anna of his Love and matched them with deeds that proved right what he felt. Gradually, Anna opened up to him and told him of how much hatred she had experienced, how much she had been told about herself and what she could become – A failure. Justin empathized with her but told her how special she was every time he had the opportunity. Light came into her life and she said one day to Justin ‘I am certain that the Lord has used you greatly to heal me and give me life. I know now that I am not useless, I may not be educated now or rich, I may not know a lot of things but I know I am wonderfully and fearfully made and my life is so so beautiful and promising. Your words have encouraged me, given me life and made me so different. Thank you for your words Justin – I Love you’   

Life (Good or Evil) comes with Every Word we Speak…

Entering Ikenna’s office, I jokingly said to him ‘Bros I have come to return this incomplete company diary you guys gave me’ We both laughed concerning the Joke then I completed my transaction in the bank and left. When I got back home much later in the evening, and wanted to check how much planned activities I was able to accomplish for the day, I discovered my diary was missen. The next day, Ikenna called me and said ‘Guy you forgot your diary in the bank, you see what your mouth can cause right? You said you wanted to return our incomplete diary jokingly and forgot it eventually’.

The event I described above may appear very casual to most of us but it tells how much we are able to create with the words we speak. The Bible says that God created the world out of nothing but by his words Because we are created in the image of God, I am certain we have been given abilities to create our world through our words. My very casual encounter with my friend; Ike brought many things to mind: I thought about all the wrong words I have heard us use in our dealings with each other, how many times we have had to say ‘This can’t work between us, I have lost interest in having anything to do with you, You are just plain stupid, Nigeria is a hopeless country, I am destined to be the way I am, never to be successful’ and many other wrong words I wish I/We could take back now that I am reminded of how much my world could be affected by the words I speak.

My prayer is that you may come to know that four major things exist in life; Life, Death, Good and Evil. All these exist in the mind but one thing rules and give them life – The Tongue. Use it wisely!!!

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