Ebenezer
At the
sound of a very loud bang, I jolted up from my bed and almost ran from the room
thinking the house would collapse on me only to realise it was just heavy
raindrops followed by occasional strong thunderstorms. Alone in my room as
always, having grown restless from the storm that plagued my now timid heart, I
was lost in thought; my mind wondered through many questions indicating
strongly how lonely my world had become since my Ex, my friend whom I fondly
call Princess bade me good bye because I did not want to show clear signs of
commitments that the relationship we share was heading to any permanent stead.
I could not say at the moment if I was happy or sad about the present single
state of my life, maybe I can testify to some mixed feelings anyways but one
thing was clear, I missed my girl who was engaged now to be married to some
dude that was ready for the big commitment.
Realising
how deep I was drifting in thought about my life with Princess, I jolted up
from the sofa where I laid and went to get myself a cup of coffee just to
create some distractions that would stop me from getting into those sad moments
that sometimes make me say 'Had I KNOWN’. Relaxing now with a cup of coffee, I
decided to play one of the favourite songs 'It's US AGAINST THE WORLD by
West Life' I shared with princess during those sweet old days. Consumed by the
wordings, I decided to send a message to Princess about the memories that came
flashing through my mind, something I hoped she would see the moment she got up
at her usual 6:30am every morning. Only a 'Hello' dropped from me to her and I
immediately got a 'Hi' response that killed the flow I had planned out. Shocked
that she was awake at 3am, I quickly asked 'Princess, why are you not sleeping?
It’s very late you know' 'Just like you Henry, why you not sleeping yourself?'
she replied. Smiling now I had to admit, 'I was thinking about you and US
against the world. You know Princess; I should never have let you go. I thought I could live up to it by being
sincere that you are/were too good to be mine. You had it all, Beautiful,
Educated, Intelligent, Attractive, Homely and above all God fearing. Look
at me, what did I have to measure up, maybe just a daytime job and a self
contained apartment and maybe myself. I was not ready but you know what I
should have let you help me be better. Well it's all gone now baby, so I just
thought I would tell you again that I do miss you but wish you the best'.
'Henry' she began 'I am up because you showed up in my sleep and took sleep
away from my eyes completely. I miss you more and I am awake this moment
because you are the only thing that has been in my thoughts for so long and I
am completely at loss about what to do. I feel I am in the wrong place. Dare
does not treat me like you ever did. I knew you were not ready to be married
but I knew you loved me. All you needed to do was ask me to wait or you wait or
we just talk about it and agree. Now we are faced with all sorts of monsters
because we left ‘US’ and have to fight this world individually. 2 months from
now, I will be Mrs. Dare, maybe unhappy or happy but it's in God's hands now, I
hope for the best'. Alitea mixed with my
coffee tasted really sour in my mouth now as I read these words from Princess
but I was optimistic that things will turn out right for the both of us in the
end and I had to tell her. 'Princess, the most sad moments of my life were when
you agreed to walk away from me when I insisted that I could not measure up to
the wonders I saw all around you. I wallowed in a state of great confusion for
over 6 months you were gone from my life, Nothing I loved made sense anymore,
music, movies, books and all those things you knew, my jobs did not; I even got
fired eventually. I cannot tell you everything I went through because I
inflicted those pains on myself. Until this moment, I still think I did not
make the right decision letting you go because I have found no one else like
you to be with. I know you wonder how I now cope so well from what you hear
about me from some of our friends. Well my dear Princess, God helped me. One
day, our old time friend Gabriel called me and asked if he could spend 3 nights
in my place because he had a conference to attend in Abuja and I obliged. On
arrival, he saw my pitied state and kept probing why things had gone that bad
but I was so ashamed to narrate the story of our love. I am sure he got tired
of asking but before leaving for his home in Makurdi, he asked me to read 1st
Samuel and a couple of other verses he listed and left me his Bible. Few weeks
after he left, idle me decided to see what was hidden in those pages he
referred me to and I kept reading until I got to 1st Samuel 7 and was struck particularly
by verse 10 and 12; how God helped the Israelites who in turn referred to him
as their helper. From that moment, knowing that no one will make up for the
absence of someone I Love so dearly, I decided to ask the Lord to help me and
He did in the most amazing way I cannot fathom. All I call him now even though
he has become everything to me is EBENEZER.
Princess, the man, you are currently about to marry will never bring you the
kind of Joy you expect, to compare him to what we shared would drive you
further down into frustration. Quitting now maybe the only option you have but
it may not guarantee that happiness you seek but like me maybe you can turn to
my Ebenezer the one I am certain still has some help pills in store if you ask
him. There is no guarantee that the help he will offer could mean giving you
courage to go on with the wedding, it may also not mean giving you the serenity
to bear the things that seem quite difficult for you, it may also mean
returning you to me, Hahahaha but I know the help He brings will surely bring
you peace that surpasses your understanding. Princess, for me, it is a normal
thing for me to be awake at this time, I hope the words we have shared will
help you try to catch some sleep in peace now. Love you!’ 
No comments:
Post a Comment