Monday, 15 June 2015


At the sound of a very loud bang, I jolted up from my bed and almost ran from the room thinking the house would collapse on me only to realise it was just heavy raindrops followed by occasional strong thunderstorms. Alone in my room as always, having grown restless from the storm that plagued my now timid heart, I was lost in thought; my mind wondered through many questions indicating strongly how lonely my world had become since my Ex, my friend whom I fondly call Princess bade me good bye because I did not want to show clear signs of commitments that the relationship we share was heading to any permanent stead. I could not say at the moment if I was happy or sad about the present single state of my life, maybe I can testify to some mixed feelings anyways but one thing was clear, I missed my girl who was engaged now to be married to some dude that was ready for the big commitment.

Realising how deep I was drifting in thought about my life with Princess, I jolted up from the sofa where I laid and went to get myself a cup of coffee just to create some distractions that would stop me from getting into those sad moments that sometimes make me say 'Had I KNOWN’. Relaxing now with a cup of coffee, I decided to play one of the favourite songs 'It's US AGAINST THE WORLD by West Life' I shared with princess during those sweet old days. Consumed by the wordings, I decided to send a message to Princess about the memories that came flashing through my mind, something I hoped she would see the moment she got up at her usual 6:30am every morning. Only a 'Hello' dropped from me to her and I immediately got a 'Hi' response that killed the flow I had planned out. Shocked that she was awake at 3am, I quickly asked 'Princess, why are you not sleeping? It’s very late you know' 'Just like you Henry, why you not sleeping yourself?' she replied. Smiling now I had to admit, 'I was thinking about you and US against the world. You know Princess; I should never have let you go.  I thought I could live up to it by being sincere that you are/were too good to be mine. You had it all, Beautiful, Educated, Intelligent, Attractive, Homely and above all God fearing. Look at me, what did I have to measure up, maybe just a daytime job and a self contained apartment and maybe myself. I was not ready but you know what I should have let you help me be better. Well it's all gone now baby, so I just thought I would tell you again that I do miss you but wish you the best'. 'Henry' she began 'I am up because you showed up in my sleep and took sleep away from my eyes completely. I miss you more and I am awake this moment because you are the only thing that has been in my thoughts for so long and I am completely at loss about what to do. I feel I am in the wrong place. Dare does not treat me like you ever did. I knew you were not ready to be married but I knew you loved me. All you needed to do was ask me to wait or you wait or we just talk about it and agree. Now we are faced with all sorts of monsters because we left ‘US’ and have to fight this world individually. 2 months from now, I will be Mrs. Dare, maybe unhappy or happy but it's in God's hands now, I hope for the best'.  Alitea mixed with my coffee tasted really sour in my mouth now as I read these words from Princess but I was optimistic that things will turn out right for the both of us in the end and I had to tell her. 'Princess, the most sad moments of my life were when you agreed to walk away from me when I insisted that I could not measure up to the wonders I saw all around you. I wallowed in a state of great confusion for over 6 months you were gone from my life, Nothing I loved made sense anymore, music, movies, books and all those things you knew, my jobs did not; I even got fired eventually. I cannot tell you everything I went through because I inflicted those pains on myself. Until this moment, I still think I did not make the right decision letting you go because I have found no one else like you to be with. I know you wonder how I now cope so well from what you hear about me from some of our friends. Well my dear Princess, God helped me. One day, our old time friend Gabriel called me and asked if he could spend 3 nights in my place because he had a conference to attend in Abuja and I obliged. On arrival, he saw my pitied state and kept probing why things had gone that bad but I was so ashamed to narrate the story of our love. I am sure he got tired of asking but before leaving for his home in Makurdi, he asked me to read 1st Samuel and a couple of other verses he listed and left me his Bible. Few weeks after he left, idle me decided to see what was hidden in those pages he referred me to and I kept reading until I got to 1st Samuel 7 and was struck particularly by verse 10 and 12; how God helped the Israelites who in turn referred to him as their helper. From that moment, knowing that no one will make up for the absence of someone I Love so dearly, I decided to ask the Lord to help me and He did in the most amazing way I cannot fathom. All I call him now even though he has become everything to me is EBENEZER. Princess, the man, you are currently about to marry will never bring you the kind of Joy you expect, to compare him to what we shared would drive you further down into frustration. Quitting now maybe the only option you have but it may not guarantee that happiness you seek but like me maybe you can turn to my Ebenezer the one I am certain still has some help pills in store if you ask him. There is no guarantee that the help he will offer could mean giving you courage to go on with the wedding, it may also not mean giving you the serenity to bear the things that seem quite difficult for you, it may also mean returning you to me, Hahahaha but I know the help He brings will surely bring you peace that surpasses your understanding. Princess, for me, it is a normal thing for me to be awake at this time, I hope the words we have shared will help you try to catch some sleep in peace now. Love you!’

 I tried to guess what Princess would be doing after reading the message I shared with her because I got no response after all I wrote. Maybe she was sobbing or a bit sad like me but anyways I was certain that Ebenezer who works in ways we cannot understand will go about his work for her, for me who is a work in progress and anyone who gives him a chance to go about is good works. 

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